


What a Time to Be Alive!

by landofhorses



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: A spooky Halloween fic posted in August, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Hickey makes an apperance, M/M, Mild descriptions of gore in relation to Halloween props and decorations, Some angst in relation to Irving's religious issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landofhorses/pseuds/landofhorses
Summary: “Did you know that candy corn was originally called chicken feed?” asked George, who was practically vibrating with excitement in the passenger seat. Edward had a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, he had been trapped in this car for two hours and George had not been quiet for either of them. Edward loved the man, but right now he was fighting the urge to pull over and leave him on the side of the road.
Relationships: Lt George Hodgson/Lt John Irving/Lt Edward Little
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	What a Time to Be Alive!

**Author's Note:**

> Am I posting a Halloween fic at the beginning of August? Yes I am. Why? Because time isn't real.

“Did you know that candy corn was originally called chicken feed?” asked George, who was practically vibrating with excitement in the passenger seat. Edward had a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, he had been trapped in this car for two hours and George had not been quiet for either of them. Edward loved the man, but right now he was fighting the urge to pull over and leave him on the side of the road.

“Oh! Why is that?” Interjected John from the backseat, if Edward thought he could have without crashing the car, he would have hit him right then. Instead he settled for a rather loud sigh, which George ignored,

“Because corn is what you feed to chickens of course!” George started giggling at his own joke, and from his rearview mirror Edward could see a confused look form on John’s face. Perhaps he was pondering on the truthfulness of George’s statement, or instead wondering what was so funny about it. John had no previous knowledge of Halloween, having been taught during his childhood that it was an unchristian holiday and therefore sinful. He was nervous about this whole adventure, but curious.

Edward turned on the radio, setting the volume to a level that would be uncomfortable to most people. According to the GPS app on his phone they had only another ten or so minutes until they reached their destination, but to Edward this might have well been an eternity. He felt like slamming his head down on the black leather of the steering wheel, how had he end up in this situation in the first place?

This was a question that Edward didn’t really need somebody to answer, this of course, had all been at George’s suggestion. Edward could not claim that he cared about Halloween, figuring that it was a holiday that was best left to young children and their long-suffering parents, the same could not be said about George. He absolutely adored Halloween and had begun preparing for it almost three months in advance, enlisting an obliging Edward and a nervous but intrigued John for help. Some of this, assumed Edward, was making up for lost time on George’s part. His elderly aunts were of a rather stern and practical sort, according to George and never quite understood the purpose of most holidays. On Christmas and birthdays, he got gifts of course, they weren’t cruel, but there was no fanfare and no room for frivolities like Halloween. George was a being made of both fanfare and frivolities, he would wither and perish without them, so Edward and John made it their mission to provide.

~*~

It had begun with decorating the small flat they shared, Edward still cringed thinking of the amount of money that was spent in total. George was from a rather affluent background, money still held little to no meaning to him even after he found himself cut off from his family funds, and he was always too willing to spend all of their money on things they did not need. The only people stopping that from occurring were both all too easily swayed by a pleading look, or, when George got desperate, begging. In the end this manifested itself into a large pile of gory trinkets, from plastic severed body parts to rubber vermin of various types. This held no purpose to Edward, who was the more practical thinker of the three of them. What was the point of decorating something that nobody was going to see besides them? His objections were ignored, and having no great eye for aesthetics, settled himself to perhaps have a quick nap on the couch. This plan was thwarted as soon as it was hatched, as a loud argument in the kitchen began shortly after Edward had closed his eyes.

“You can’t put that there, it’s off centered!” cried John, who sounded far more invested in the whole endeavor than somebody who only a short while ago had been scared for his immortal soul should be. He held the plastic arm that he had snatched off the table in one hand, the other was placed on his hip. They were apparently attempting to create some sort of macabre display of limbs and other assorted body parts on the dinning table. _How positively lovely,_ thought Edward.

“Does it really matter?” replied George, who was becoming stroppy.

“If you want it to look good it does!” snapped John. George let out a huff, and a glare followed. A clear concession, and John went to work placing things the way that he wanted to have them. It was then that Edward decided that it was high time that he moved himself to their shared bedroom if he wanted to get any rest. 

The first thing that happened when he had awoken from his nap and walked into the living room was that he walked face first into a low hanging rubber bat. He had to fight with it for a few moments before he had been able to disentangle himself, the beast had had quite the grip on him. After freeing himself he was able to take in the full extent of George’s and John’s handiwork, and it looked every bit as silly as Edward had thought it would. Cotton spider webs were taped to several corners, a cardboard skeleton was hanging from the door, and several designated “spooky” animals were strewn about on any available surface, and apparently hanging from the ceiling as he had so rudely found out. The scene on the dining table that the two of them had been fighting over before Edward had left was probably the largest affront to the senses, a gory mess of limbs with a severed head taking pride of place. They had done a great job, and Edward would have told them this, had they not been asleep. John was laid out on the couch hair sticking up at odd angles, George was sprawled on top of him snoring loudly. Edward decided that it would probably be for the best to let them sleep, switching the TV off before heading back to the bedroom to get more rest.

~*~

When George had first suggested that they perhaps go visit a haunted house attraction, Edward had told him no outright. His head was still throbbing from hitting his head earlier that week, and he did not think that he would be able to handle the loud screaming and noises that being in one would entail. They had been carving pumpkins and when he’d gotten up from the table to get a glass of water he’d stepped on a piece and slipped, hitting his head on the sharp edge of the fake granite countertop. The wound had bled profusely, as was typical with head injuries, but Edward had not believed that it would have required stitches. It had still put a damper on their evening, and the half-heartily finished jack-o’-lanterns would remain on their coffee table as a reminder to the horrors that happened that night. George was still apologizing for it, and John kept watching him as if he were bound to collapse at any moment.

So, when George had triumphantly brought home a pamphlet depicting several gory scenes and proudly proclaiming the attraction to be the _fright of a lifetime,_ Edward had been less than enthusiastic. No amount of begging was going to get him to budge, all he’d wanted to do that evening was take a nap, perhaps with his two partners if he got lucky. That had been until George had backed him up against the wall of the bedroom and smirked and promised to do anything he wanted if they would all could go to the haunted house, making Edward promptly forget all his previous objections. This was not to say that George’s seduction techniques were particularly good, they were often very strange and involved far too many heavy handed metaphors for body parts that didn’t really need them, but they worked quite well on Edward. He popped a couple of Advil and piled the three of them into his car for the two- and half-hour drive towards the “Most Spooktacular Fun You Could Have This Halloween!”

The parking lot had not been paved instead made of gravel, this however, did not seem to deter anybody from it, as it took Edward almost ten minutes to find a parking space. At least five of those minutes were him trying to convince himself not to turn around and go home. John, who had been nervous before, looked ready to run for the hills.

“Are you alright John?” Asked Edward, who was now worried that John might pass out.

“I’m fine!” John responded far too quickly and louder than warranted, which indicated that he was both not fine and that he was getting worse by the second.

“We don’t have to go-“ Edward tried.

“You’re just scared aren’t you John? You know it isn’t real right? And Edward and me will be there with you.” George interrupted, perhaps not quite understanding the source of John’s anxieties. It didn’t seem to matter, John took a fortifying breath and nodded his head, looking a little bit better than he had a few moments ago. Edward gave him a slight smile, which hopefully looked reassuring and not pained, and reached from his position in the driver seat to give him a gentle pat on the leg.

The building itself was some type of warehouse, decorated on the outside with stereotypically corny scenes of mayhem and murder. Actors were moving around the line, far shorter than Edward had believed it would be, and scaring those who weren’t paying attention. He could hear the screams coming from the inside of the building, and Edward could feel his headache coming back already. He patted down his pockets looking for the extra pills he’d thought he’d remembered to take, realizing he must have forgotten, he sighed.

The standing in line wasn’t so bad, the three of them were apparently unapproachable to the actors tasked with keeping the crowd on their toes. It could have been because Edward was glaring at any person who so much looked in their direction, or it could have been that John already looked terrified, either way George looked disappointed. Edward gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder but made no effort to encourage anybody to come their way. The line moved quickly and soon they found themselves at the front.

“How are you today?” asked the smiling woman at the entrance, she was dressed as some sort of witch. She was chipper and should have been disarming, but John was shaking with fear by his side. Edward grabbed his hand in an attempt to still him, and his eyes widened in shock and he dared a glance at the ticket taker, when nothing happened, he calmed down.

“Fine.” Replied Edward, who hated small talk, but didn’t want to subject this stranger that they had just met to George’s poor attempts at conversation. He showed them the tickets he had prepurchased on his phone, and after several attempts at scanning them they were ready to enter.

“Your guide should just be finishing up with his last group now…Ah! There he is!” She said, pointing at a rather short man approaching them in what looked to be some sort of vampire costume. He wore a black cape with a red satin inside, and a flowy white shirt with matching black dress pants. His hair was red, and his face reminded Edward of a fox, he hated him almost instantly.

“Welcome to Franklin’s Haunted House of Nightmares!” He said theatrically pausing for a moment, clearly this was something that he was required to say to every group. He turned his attention towards John specifically, “Are you ready for a fright of your lifetime?” An accompanying wink followed, and John began to blush. He turned his gaze towards the ground, dropping his hand from Edward’s. If Edward had not liked him before, he could not say that he cared for him now. He sent his best glare in the guide’s direction, which he unhelpfully ignored. George was oblivious to what was occurring, practically jumping up and down at Edward’s side with excitement.

“I’ll be your guide today through this grotesque carnival of horrors, my name is Cornelius, but you can call me E.C.” Their guide proclaimed with flourish, returning his attention to the whole group. Edward could not tell how one could get E.C. out of Cornelius but did not care enough to question it.

“Now, if you’ll follow me.” E.C. called over his shoulder as he walked into the building, expecting everybody to follow him. Having nothing better to do, the three of them and their fellow group members walked inside.

The first thing that Edward noticed on entering the building was the strobe lights, making his head feel funny and doing his budding headache no favors. The next thing he noticed was a group of individuals, zombies, cannibals? Who knew, and did he really care? Standing in a rusty cage reaching out to touch them, except not really as the rules had stated that they weren’t allowed to touch guests. George had his hand wrapped around his arm, squeezing it tightly. Edward only barely suppressed the urge to sigh and role his eyes, this was hardly scary enough to require all of that. John at his other side actually looked less scared than he had been standing outside, his face was scrunched up in confusion, intently studying his surroundings.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” John muttered quietly to himself, Edward could only barely make out what he said.

Before he had time to ask what it was that John had meant, they were being hurried along a series of tight corridors and small rooms formed through use of black plastic tarp. The walls were splattered with presumably fake blood, and actors kept banging on them from the other side and screaming. George jumped every single time this happened, each time nearly painfully squeezing Edward’s arm, and on one memorable occasion stomped on his foot. He looked like he was one more loud sound away from bolting, his eyes were wide, gaze darting around trying to guess where the next scare would come from. Edward shook his head; he’d forgotten how easily spoked George was. John was still contemplative at his side, seemingly only becoming scared when the guide looked back in their direction. John had never been able to handle flirting well, especially when it was this direct. Edward picked John’s hand up once again, glaring daggers at the back of E.C.’s head.

The next series of rooms were of the typical haunted house fare. There was a room decorated as some sort of abandoned lab where people dressed up as experiments gone wrong and jumped out of hidden entrances, and it had included a person being “electrocuted” as a finale. Another room was circus themed with several actors portraying bloody, cannibalistic clowns, who pranced around getting close enough to touch but without doing so. The next and hopefully final, if Edward’s arm and head had any say in anything, room was a scene in a butcher shop. Instead of the usual gore of dead farm animals, all the meat was human. Bloody legs and arms hung from hooks on the walls, and in the middle sat a countertop with a circular saw at the far-right end. On its surface, in front of the saw was a rubber pair of legs and a torso that was cut open to reveal the innards inside. At the other end was an actor’s head, presumably coming through a hole in the table. They were screaming about a man coming back, that they should leave while the still had a chance. That was when a sound of a chainsaw starting could be heard, and Edward sighed, none of this had been unpredictable.

“You better run now! That man’s never full, he’ll have you for dinner as well!” E.C. proclaimed before attempting to go for maniacal laughter, which was neither maniacal nor laughter, and sounded more like a hacking coughing fit. This didn’t seem to faze him any though, and he artfully step out of the way to let everybody pass him. A flash of what looked like a man wearing a polar bear mask, strangely enough, was all that it took for George to let go of Edwards arm and run scared out of the exit. Edward walked calmly out of the building, sending one last glare in the guide’s direction when he tried to give John his number. A quick tug on John’s hand was all it took to dislodge him from his frozen position in front of E.C. who was positively leering at him at this point. George was leaning against a tree waiting for them, hands in his pockets, it was starting to get chilly outside.

“That was quite a lot of fun, don’t you say lads!” Exclaimed George after he’d done a full circle of the both of them to make sure that hadn’t had any part of them sawed off.

“I’m confused, what was the lesson of that meant to be?” Asked John, speaking up for the first time since they had all arrived. His nose was scrunched up and brow furrowed, Edward thought it was quite adorable, but would not tell him lest he earn a disapproving stare.

“Why would there be a lesson? They aren’t trying to _teach you they are trying to scare you._ ” Replied George, who was also becoming confused.

“That’s the point of those kinds of houses though, isn’t it? To scare you into believing the words of the lord.” John paused, shifting his weight from foot to foot, “We held one every year at my church and that’s what we did.”

“I’ve never been to a haunted house like that.” Edward chimed in, the only one with any experience in these matters, “And we wouldn’t go to a place like that.” Edward could only imagine the kind of lessons the church was trying to teach through fear. He pulled John into a comforting hug and gave him a quick peck on the lips before pulling away.

“It was a bit lame though, wasn’t it?” Edward said.

“LAME!” shouted George, who clearly thought this was the pinnacle of all horror experiences. He grabbed onto Edward’s arm as he began the trek back to the car, far less hard then he had whilst they were in the house. John entangled his fingers with Edward’s own on his free hand. The argument that ensued continued for almost two hours, and only ended when John fell asleep in the backseat of the car.

**Author's Note:**

> The kind of haunted attraction that Irving refers to here are called Hell Houses, basically haunted houses with the expressed aim to scare people away from sinning and as a means to convert nonbelievers. 
> 
> Special thanks to the pals on discord for the encouragement of my nonsense, and for help working me through some of it. 
> 
> you can follow me @georgehodgsonfucks on tumblr


End file.
